… why did he have a boner? :'(

I feel that you should all know that I am playing HetaOni. I just drank a terrible cup of instant coffee, and plan on pulling an all nighter. I am only up to the meeting with the Allies, and I’m already shitscared. GAH. GAH. I will piss myself when i get to that version 15 bits and i have no walkthrough! D: seriously, I'll be saving every ten seconds, hoping I don’t die. Also I've been roleplaying France in some fabulous conversations with Iggy on deviantart… OHONHONHON. I always knew Iggy liked ze handcuffs… Wish me luck with HetaOni. Pray I don't scream and wake the family up. I really am terrified, and I’m playing over stuff I’ve already played! D: Would kill for a boyfriend to cuddle up beside me and protect me from Steve… ALSO. I read a fanfiction. It mentioned tuggie's. It was a crack hetalia fiction. I was curious. I googled tuggie. I regret it. *sob* WHY DOES HE HAVE A BONER. MY EYES AND I ARE IN PHYSICAL PAIN. SWEET BABY MOSES, WHY. Don't make my mistake, boys and girls. Because it involved a prominent erection, a 'fuzzy sock that warms your cock' and leopard print. Thank god they didn't forget the balls, is all i can say. Still. WHY IS THIS REAL. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAV NICE THINGS, KIDS. THE TUGGIES ARE RUINING MY MIND. WHY DID HE HAVE A BONER. Flaccid, although still terrifying, i could deal with, ERRECT? No. Just no. The implications are just too much. IMAGE BURNED INTO RETINAS. Alright, off to give Steve an arse-whooping. Sincerely, …why did he have a boner?